Panic Attacks

pencilToday is all about panic attacks. No I’m not having one at the moment thank goodness, but what brought it to mind was the gas explosion in Durham, NC 4.10.19. I wasn’t thinking so much of my panic attacks, but of these people, towns and countries who experience terror such as this. This will have a lasting effect on Durham I am sure. 

Panic attacks can come on at any time and is a mental illness. I sure wish there was another term for it, but there is not. To my knowledge 1 in 4 people have a mental illness, so we are in this together whether we want to be or not. The most difficult part to having anxiety is talking about it to others who say, “are you all right?” I’m one who “appears” higher functioning and sociable on the outside but it doesn’t invalidate my mental havoc at times. Many don’t carry cue cards or banners advertising their malady. Just a “are you ok today?” is a real pain reliever if one asks. 

What is a real heart breaker is when someone says just “get over it” or “snap out of it”. Wouldn’t one think, “if we could we would?” It isn’t like one morning we wake up and look at our Rolodex and say, “Geee, what mental health illness do I want today?”

Signs of an anxiety attack:

I am one who experiences shortness of breath and it feels like I’m in a paper bag. To help others here, I usually just stop what ever I am doing even if  it’s pushing a grocery cart, reading the paper (which will cause anxiety in anyone) or in a crowd. Following I found some symptoms that may be recognized to possibly help others if you see and individual struggling/suffering in silence. 

                  Sudden overwhelming fear




                Shortness of breath

                Sense of choking

                Chest pain



                A feeling of being detached from the world (de-realization)

                Fear of dying

                Numbness or tingling in the limbs                                                                         

Let me just add here, “why is it when someone has cancer we don’t shun the individual or diabetes?” A question to keep in mind. 

As I say in closing, onward and upward  care about the one next to you. Love yourself as well and mostly. Just by chance the person next to you may be fighting their own inner battles with mental illness, cancer or diabetes. 





Man, Woman, Birth, Child, Death and Infinity

Mother ~ Woman


Mother, the first human touch
Opens our eyes and leads us
To a new world.
Having life’s experiences, good, bad and indifferent
Everyday arising centered or losing my way
Remembering you.




Those Golden Globes

I never really sit down and watch anything such as this out of Hollywood. Why I did, I don’t know. Maybe gravity tugged on my hindquarters and it was to be. I get the Golden’s mixed up with the Emmys. Its only out of curiosity that I watch and it was quite the change from Fire and Fury promotions. (All about Trump book) Although, even watching this, there was a rally cry from the notable Oprah Winfrey. 

Here are the winners and nominees for 2018. Globes So its forward we go with a new day on the horizon Oprah Rally Cry according to Oprah. 

To me, my new day is not on the horizon but forever present. The only thing missing was the leather. My viewing showed me lace, low-cut and slit dresses with beautiful faces. Picturesque images of woman who would entice any mans lustful imagination. Soooooo

My point is, don’t play the part and you won’t have to  say, “me too”! Yes, an age of awareness and rightfully so. It truly has gone on too long, not just in Hollywood but usually everywhere. The rally cry “Never Again” and having to say, “me too”; I doubt that. It will be “Not Again”, Oprah! It’s the skin Oprah! The skin! 


I’m not saying dress like this……nun  The moral to this is, if one flaunts it taunts. Expect paying a price. If one doesn’t ask for abuse or harassment, which I’m sure is an under statement, REPORT, REPORT, REPORT behavior and not in the next century. Two sides to a pancake! 

This is not a political issue, so don’t make it such. This is not woman power. Don’t make it such. Its common sense. Just my humble opinion. 

A Motherless Daughter

Its Mothers Day again. “Good morning mom. Happy Mothers Day!” Yes, I even said those words today to her in hopes where ever she is, she will sense my love for her still.

What I’ve learned from my mother looking back at the 92 years with her are many things. Even in the journey of loss and the mountain of grief these last two and half years.

I recall the schedules we use to always have by gathering around the kitchen table as family. Mothers Day is a family day together and even if they are not with us on this side of the cosmos they are within us. Therefore, start up the grills! Bring out the buns and condiments along with the hot dogs. 

What comes to mind is a mothers job description.

Job Description: Long term, eternal

Responsibilities: See that the kids are clothed, fed, teeth brushed and have their homework done. This is called, Home Work Patrol. Be willing to lay awake at night waiting for the teenager of the family to bring home the family car safe and sound and the teen also. Be willing  to travel. Should have some knowledge of soccer, softball and
skinned knees. Must be willing to face stimulating technical problems such plugged toilets, gadget repair and zippers that are stuck. Must have organizational skills. Screen calls, maintain calendars and social events. Must be indispensable one minute, frazzled and embarrassed the next. Finally, must be conscious of cheap toys and safety. Know when to hold them, know when to fold them before explosion. Smile so your teeth hurt. 
To put it briefly, the candidate must be a chef, a nurse, taxi driver, tutor, keep secrets, hair stylist and janitor. 

Benefits: Butter fly kisses, burp messes, and lots of love.


Will be with family today knowing that its moms day and she would want it that way. She will be with us in mind and spirit. Geeee, I wonder if she liked a hot dog since we’re grilling!

Happy Mothers Day to All who have chosen to apply for this job.

The Hula Hoop

Does anyone remember the Hula Hoop? Now don’t question why, but for some reason I’ve been thinking of the Hula Hoop. Maybe it’s because my thoughts have been going around and around lately in circles.
My first and only hula hoop was white and yes, round. 🙂
I don’t recall how old I was when this came into my life. Lets see, 11 or 12. Emmmmm That’s going way back into mental archives.
The Hula hoop craze started back in the 50’s to the Aussies of Australia. Back then they were made of bamboo (I’m sure the panda’s were somewhat put out being their main appetite), until the demand became so great, a company called Toltoys began to make them.
As time went on, the craze hit the states in the late 50’s and were manufactured in the making of different colors. During this time, contests sprung up all over the states with some of the moves being as follows; the Knee Knocker, Stork, Hula Hop, Wrap the Mummy, Alley Ooop and free style dancing. Noooo, I don’t remember any of those. All I remember is around and around and swing those hips or I’d have a huge ankle bracelet in no time.
Any one reading this remember THEIR hula hoop?
penguinWhere’s my hoop?

images4NOTES: Notes to admit I’m not a professional journalist and yes educated myself with this trivia info. Not a plagiarist just reminiscing.

The Fabulous 60’s

Yes, its true, I’m dating myself here. What did you wear in the 60’s if you were around? Maybe you were only the “apple of your father’s eye” and was a preconceived idea. For those that were around, let me share my trending threads back then.
Lets start with the music revolution and the Beatles. Not mock Beatles, nor insects, but the REAL Beatles from Liverpool. From where? That’s right, England. The music revolution begins. I remember the Ed Sullivan show vividly. Running home, at exactly 7:55 pm so I could sit in front of the RCA tube tv, and watch with awe, the phenomena from England and its four piece band. One will never forget the names. They were like memorizing the 4 books in the beginning of the New Testament (if one did) Paul, John, Ringo and George.
Remember the Banana Seats on those pedal bikes? To those that do, it was like having a plush bench seat in a model T Ford. No I don’t remember those! In fact, has only one seen one lately? Now seats on bikes are so contour to our fannies!
Then we had the Afros. The Angela Davis look who was a political activist back then. If sitting in a theater, we always had to move if someone in front of us had and Afro in hopes to even see the movie.
Love Beads. Who has time to love beads? These were like a common bracelet or necklace worn as friendship. These could be made simply or purchased at a store in beautiful colors.
Just a few fads of what was back then. It was a fun time and yet a revolutionary time from music to politics. Everyone or some, thought all we needed was love, love, love. Not sure if that would work today.
Following are a few more fads that we thought would last forever. Bell Bottoms, Barbie Dolls, Fallout Shelters (not too crazy about these), Go-Go Boots, (these were made for walking according to Nancy Sinatra), Miniskirts, Granny Glasses (even if one isn’t a granny), Troll Dolls, Turtle Necks and finally, I could not leave out the Twist. Not candy, but a dance.


Ohhhhh the golden years!