I’ll Never Forget the Shoulder

It certainly has been awhile since I’ve been here to share. Today is a day I will never forget. Many of us have had losses in our lives and some handle them positively, negatively and sadly. Even some morbidly joyous. I’m learning as this day starts, its how we “react” to loss and its true meaning to each and every one of us. It was a painful day, although relief knowing the suffering and anticipation would no longer be a part of the picture.  My confidante, my friend, my mother……

I’ll never forget this day two years ago…..
I stood over you with my right hand or was it my left?…..
Gently feeling your left shoulder, palm over………holding you in my broken heart….
The emotions were al a carte, knowing within, you held me there as a crying infant.

Your tour of duty in this earthly kingdom……came to an end…..
On this day I will remember your laughter and wit…..
Do something positive in your honor……
Read as you loved to do, over hot coffee at Barnes & Noble.

You taught me to read, syllable by syllable…..
You led me to this place….
To learn and not be ignorant as a child without grace…..
To not break the spine of the book, so not to replace……..books are our friends.

Today you will guide me to this reading place…..
The Creator will guide you to this place too, where our hearts will embrace….
Our hearts will dance, we will laugh, we will read, we will remember…….
I in this mortal body will calmly sip my coffee and read knowing you led me to this safe place.Happy Hour

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Learning Lesson

My Personal Grief 101 ~ a life learning lesson.

 

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Man, woman, birth, death and infinity. Nooo, I’m not a doctor. I’m a student in life’s class as many. Approximately a year ago a very special person in my life went on into the great mystery after 92 years of being my greatest teacher. Like all teachers, some can forget lessons and slip up. Many often err on the side of caution while striving for perfection in their teaching skills in hopes we “get it”.

As many of us go through our earlier years, infancy to adulthood, we observe and learn. Man, woman and birth, many of us understand or try our best to understand the cycle through observance. Then the “BIG” one as they say, death comes along either announced or unannounced. In America, it seems it is a taboo subject to talk about openly. Its one of those quiet topics we may whisper to someone, “did you hear about so and so” at the water bubbler.  Or we pick up the newspaper turn to the obits, see someone we know and scan it, then quick turn to the sports or comics. Along with the death comes the cloak of grief. Unfortunately, this cloak can not be discarded or hung up on a hook to be worn at a later date. Its one to be worn through the process.

What I’ve learned through this last year or so after losing this teacher, is what “grief” isn’t. It certainly isn’t about pushing through. It’s not about another side. It’s not something one completes in a semester. It’s not a task, chore or a lesson to finish and get it over with, move on to next chapter, infinity. What it is to this student is absorbing, adjusting and accepting the new normal. In the end, no pun intended, my grief is a croton of myself and a part of me now. An alteration and a new definition of my being. 

My teacher, my mother, didn’t teach me about death. She just left me a new pair of glasses. 

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What Books do You Like?

I was going over all my books the other day and was thinking….. smiliethinkingI really saw a pattern form and came across a realization.

My favorite book or series that I liked to read were 1. Nancy Drew Mysteries As I look back, I remember the most intriguing to me was 2. The Drifters ~ James Mitchner when I got into Junior High. Of course then we had a required reading in high school 3. The Good Earth ~ Pearl S. Buck. Well continuing on with my cleaning, I found 4. World Without End ~ Ken Follett a sequel to Pillars of the Earth, that I’ve read. 5. Answer as a Man and Captains and the Kings ~ Taylor Caldwell and my most favorite 6. Dear and glorious Physician~ Taylor Caldwell.

As I looked at these all together, I couldn’t help but think, subconsciously, travel and exploring life seems to be a trait of mine. A mysterious one to boot with Nancy in there.  Most of these books involved people of different cultures traveling to different places. Also, the Caldwell novels, the individuals were traveling to American search of a better place. The land of milk and honey per se.

What are your favorite books and authors? Just curious.

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