December 14, 2014, my mother succumbed to COPD. A heart-break it is. At 92, the hands of time ticked away with mom in preparation in the middle of December.
I never thought in my wildest dreams that care giving would be hard. How many of us took courses to prepare ourselves to take care of a loved one? Not I. For the past four years, it was all hands on training. I can not begin to tell you the lessons I’ve learned taking care of mother.
During the last day, it was all too confusing for those of us to be left behind. Hospice angels were preparing mom for departure with such grace and delicacy. The last day or two with mom, I could sense her leaving soon or something was terribly wrong. This I kept to myself only so I could deny the inevitable.
It felt like mom was going to board the heavenly train and I was to place her on board. But then, I was given the heavenly and or the Universes hand. “Stop Jan. Your job has just been terminated. We will take it from here.” Gulp.
My severance pay? The privilege of carrying mother to the finish line and handing her over to God. The human experience for her is finished. The last four years, I made sure she would leave unscathed from human error from the medical profession. We were granted another Christmas last year and we experienced as she did, a visit from her son and daughter-in-law from Texas. We were all together as family including my sister who has been supportive and at times carried me. Mother, I would like to believe is well and renewed.